Her
by RockDiva
Summary: While being held prisoner in the Red Queen's dungeon, Hatter's thoughts turn toward Alice and the fact that she isn't a him, but a her. One-sided H/A.


_Disclaimer_: By now everyone should know that anyone posting on FFN probably doesn't own anything they are writing about. I don't even claim to know if this plot, any of the specific details, etc. have already been used somewhere in this vast section as I haven't read everything. So, my apologies if you feel I have stolen something from you. I promise it was unintentional!

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**HER**

She _was_ Alice. He still believed it with every fiber of his beloved hat.

He looked down at where it rested beside him, an almost deep longing in his green eyes. She had brought it back to him. However foolish her act of bravery had been, he couldn't blame her for it having led to his imprisonment. She had at least been on the right path to finding her muchness again. He could only hope she would find it altogether now that she had the Vorpal sword and was on her way to Marmoreal.

Then she would be the Alice he remembered.

Only, she would be more definitively a woman this time. He turned his gaze away from his hat as his eyes flickered to a slightly amber color. There was clear uncertainty weighing upon his mind as he recalled their moment together when he'd asked her if he'd gone mad. He had wanted so much for her to be her right-proper-Alice size. He had wanted so desperately to lose himself to a different kind of madness - one that had been building within him since Chessur brought her to the tea party. He had wanted nothing more than to kiss her.

Yes, _her_. His eyes now changed so that they seemed ablaze, anger clouding his already shaky reason. Why had he called her a him? Why couldn't his mind have worked correctly just once? She must have realized right then and there he was hopelessly mad. What kind of impression had it made on her? Certainly it couldn't have been a good one.

And then to make matters worse, he had called her a wee little boy! His fists clenched at the memory. Of course, he had only said it that time to protect her - to feign a bout of madness in front of the bloody big head. But did she know that? Even if she did, for he knew she was smart enough to catch on to such things, that didn't excuse the fact that the first time had been a _real_ bout of insanity - even if it was just of the nearly harmless, giddy variety (after all, he had been excited beyond measure to see her again).

Still, he had insulted her! He just knew it! He began clawing at the floor of the dungeon cell, overcome by his rage. Now she would never take anything he ever said or did seriously. Had he kissed her like he'd wanted, he was sure she would have only questioned the sanity behind it. After all, wouldn't she have just said to herself, "But he thinks I'm a boy. He couldn't have meant anything by it."

This final delusion sent him over the edge and he grabbed for the nearest thing he could destroy. Unfortunately that thing was his hat. He took it violently into his hands and was on the verge of ripping it, flattening it, or anything else which would bring harm to the prized possession. However, Alice's voice suddenly resounded in his ears.

_HATTER!_

The memory of her voice calling to him made his eyes shut tightly. He began to recall the touch of her hands to his face. Never before had he felt so sane than when she had cradled him gently and reassuringly. As his eyes re-opened, they were green again. They weren't their usual shade, but a slightly darker, more depressed one as he realized what he had almost done.

Wouldn't she have been ashamed of him? She would have gone through so much trouble to reunite him with his hat only for him to turn around and obliterate it. And he wouldn't have been too happy with himself either. Thus, as he cautiously placed the hat back at his side, he was even more grateful that Alice had returned to Underland. Nobody else had the power to bring him back from madness without even having to be with him.

Alice alone was his sanity. She was the only beautiful, perfect and -yes- entirely female thought in his mind which overpowered and balanced out any others. And if he somehow survived the next morning, he knew he would have to find a way to tell _her_.

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**Thanks for reading! This was entirely written on my BlackBerry during a fit of insomnia last night. I don't know why, but I just felt compelled to explore Hatter's thoughts about Alice not actually being a boy. While it is currently marked complete, I'm debating making it a two/three-shot with Alice's POV and/or to include a moment where Hatter does let her know he knows her, er, gender. But I don't know. Right now it also feels right as just a simple Hatter moment in his miserable solitude, like a moment that shouldn't be expanded, if that makes sense. Thus, input is completely welcome on the matter :)**


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